Sunrise

Watching the dawning of a new day is truely a beautiful thing.  The sky slowly changing from dark to light...the clouds changing from dark gray to soft pink...all of it is beautiful...except maybe the sound of the trash truck.  :)  Even things of beauty are often marked by the unmistakable sounds of reality. 

The day has finally come.  My furniture will be arriving soon...only hours from now.  By the end of the day I will be surrounded by boxes and all of my things.  I couldn't be more excited and happy...and full of sadness at the same time.....

Last night...or I should say early this morning...as I was trying in vain to go to sleep I realized I was feeling the first twinges of homesickness.  I wondered...why now?  Why when things were finally going to be getting back to normal would I start to feel sad?  Well...I think just for that reason.  This is real...this is my life now...in Virginia...1200 miles...20 hours away from family and the place I have known for my whole life.  The impending arrival of my furniture as made this all very real to me.   Sure...I have known for weeks now that I was moving...but it all had a very surreal feeling.  The arrival of my things...all of my worldly possesions...has made this real.  The point of no return.

LOL...I sound so melancholy.  I am happy.  I have just reached a very profound moment if life.  I am excited...and scared...and happy...and sad...and so many emotions that I cannot even find words for! 

Today is my mom's birthday!  Happy Birthday Mom!  I know when she reads this blog she will be worried and sad and all the things that mothers are when their children are far away from them.  I can't really make it better for her...just as she cannot make it better for me.  I don't wish to make her sad...or cry...especially on her birthday!  She knows that I love her.  I think that sometimes she thinks that I don't need her.  It is true that I am very independent.  And while it is true that I don't need her to tie my shoes and make my dinner...I still do need her and I do miss her very much.  (I know you are probably crying now mom.)  :)  But it is because of her that I was able to make this move.  My mom and pop have raise me...and now I am going off into the world to make them proud of me.  I can do this because they have instilled in me all of the things that I am...and for that I am truely grateful.  My brother and I could not possibly have more perfect and wonderful parents. 

It is funny how things are sometimes.  This morning (around 3 am) when I was feeling so sad Eddie (one of my cats) jumped onto my airmattress bed.  Now this is strange in itself.  Eddie is affectionate only on his terms...and this is usually very seldom.  Even when he is being affectionate it is usually only for a matter of minutes...then he jumps down to resume being his distant cat self.  But not last night.  He wanted to cuddle and to be petted.  He layed down right up next to me and stayed there.  He slept there.  It was like he knew that I was sad. (Don't laugh Bob...I was emtional...and that is what it seemed like!)  Now, Eddie always preferred my mom and pop.  When I was living at home...Cirrus slept with me and Eddie slept with them.  They had chosen their owners, like cats tend to do.  So, in a crazy way, in all of my missing home, it was like Eddie was trying to comfort me and let me know that my mom and pop missed me too and they are always here with me in thought.  (Now let me enter this side thought here...I am not one of those animal freaks who thinks that animals can communicate with us and stuff...animals are animals...and they act on instinct...but I do think that sometimes we need to believe that they understand us and care for us the way we care for them.)  That being said...I know my brother will still think I am stupid.  But that is okay...  :) 

Well...it is time that I take my shower and prepare for the arrival of my furniture!  I am sure this will be a busy day.  I look forward to my new adventure here in Virginia.  It is like today...even after all of these days sitting and waiting...I am finally beginning my adventure.  I welcome it...like I welcomed the coming of this new day.  I thank God for waking me and showing me a beautiful sunrise...the dawning of a new day....