Thinking back...

Last year at this time I was still living in Virginia. I was getting ready to begin my last month in Virginia.

Sometimes it is hard to believe just how much things can change in one short year. I was miserable this time last year. I was dating someone who I should have let go when he expressed his wishes to date other people. I had a job that I despised. And overall I was probably at the most unhappiest moment in my life.

But now...365 days later...I am engaged to be married this coming summer. I enjoy most of my job (the kids and such). I am back in Texas. And I am probably happier now than I have been in a very very long time.

But you know...last year at this time I never could have imagined this. I never thought I would be happy again. I doubted God had a plan for me. And my family and friends...as well intentioned as they might be...didn't help by constantly telling me that everything always works out you just have to take it day by day.

And now it has all worked out. I have everything I have always dreamed of and more. Well...minus the house and babies...but they are in the future. :)

Looking back helps me to keep my prospective on my present. I don't tie myself to the past like I used to...I simply look at it and remember...and give thanks for the path that God had worked out for me. Looking back helps me remember that even if I can't imagine God's plan...there is a plan...and it is more wonderful that my best daydreams.

Looking back also helps me to slow down now. I want a house so very very badly. I am tired of apartment living. I am tired of throwing away over $1000 a month to live in a place that will never give back to me. I want to paint and decorate and put a pumpkin on my porch and make something mine...ours...the beginning of our family. But as house after house falls through...as nothing seems to work out and I get frustrated beyond reason...I have to remember to look back. God had a plan for me in Virginia...I didn't know what that plan was and at times I didn't trust there was a plan. But there was! And now...even as I struggle at why I can't have my dream house RIGHT NOW!...I realize there is a plan. And the plan will be realized when the moment is right. It doesn't make my apartment frustration any better...but it does soothe the ache in some strange way.

It seems that we always want the NEXT thing...and then when we get the next thing we long for the way it used to be. I can't WAIT to be married. To have a house. To be pregnant. To have our first precious baby. But...I feel myself rushing it. Getting bored with what I have and wanting more. I have done that over and over in my life and I always wish for the time back that I spent wanting the next step. So maybe this is another lesson and "looking back" can provide for me. Having a house means MUCH more upkeep than an apartment...which means less time to cross stitch and piddle around doing unimportant things...so...I search for my patience and hope that in my biggest moments of frustration I can remember my past and be happy with my present!

One more thing...

I should take a minute to explain my lapse in blogging as of late. There is PLENTY going on in my life right now that I COULD blog about. However, most I will not write because the web is open to all. Most of what is going on must not be shouted about because it involves work and stress and things that shouldn't be spread about on the Internet. Take that as you will...and many will take that to mean something it is completely not. But as most of my life is consumed by school right now I don't think about much else and so I don't write.

With that said...the wedding planning is moving along very smoothly right now. In the last few weeks we have made MANY decisions which makes me feel good.

Well...time for me to finish getting ready for work. Another day in paradise!

Rowlett vs. Garland

Football. High school football to be exact. Tonight is the biggest game of the regular season. The high school I attended (GHS) is playing the high school where Nathan works (RHS). Both teams are 5-0 in district. For those of you who aren't as football-savy as me (LOL) that means each team is undefeated in district play. This is a huge game. Not for playoffs...both teams are in the playoffs...but for the coveted DISTRICT TITLE. I am torn...support my alma mater or support the school where Nathan works.

If he was a coach it would be easy...I would definetly support him...but he is the athletic trainer...making sure all the kids are okay. If I had my choice they would build me a special seat at one end of the field where I could cheer for both! I have thought long and hard...and Nathan doesn't really care...or so he says. But I have made my decision.

I am going to sit on the Rowlett side. After all...my future husband is on that sideline and I would want him to support me if the situation was reversed. Honestly I hope RHS. Garland (HS) has had their time in the spotlight...many times the last 10 years or so. The went to state and won in 1999 and most years they are clear district champs. This is Rowlett's year to do it...and maybe their only really good chance for the next for years.

Of course...most people don't share my feelings. Like Dad. :) He says the best team should win...and of course he thinks GHS is the best team! I say they are pretty evenly matched. But he knows MUCH more about high school football than me.

But the unfortunate fact is that tonight there will be a winner and a loser just like always. And no matter what the outcome someone I care about WILL be disappointed...including me. :) While I support RHS I am still an Owl at heart (the GHS mascot).

But I love high school football. The kids will play hard tonight. They will make mistakes and have spectacular achievements. The weather is perfect...just a little chilly but not too cold. The stands will be packed on both sides...probably so packed that they will close the stadium. I will cheer and sigh and yell at the refs just like everyone else. It will be exhilerating. For fans of high school football...tonight is the perfect game!!!!

Beginning New Habits

How many times have you made the decision to eat healthier, exercise more, or keep the kitchen clean? If you are like me you you have made endless decrees to change this or that or start doing this or that. But usually after a week or so we fall back in to old habits because we get busy or the newness wears off. We all mean well...but sometimes life just gets in the way.

Well..today I began a new habit. One that is important...one that could probably wait a few more months...but since I sometimes need EXTRA time to make habits actually habits I figured it was good to start now.

I have never been good at the once-a-day multivitamin thing. I know I should and sometimes I have gone months taking my vitamin every day. But then I run our or I take them to the bathroom when I should keep them in the kitchen by my food. Whatever the reason I am not good a remembering to take one.

Today I started taking prenatal vitamins. I am sure that my family that reads this just fell out of their chairs. Before anyone gets too worried and picks up the phone to frantically call my mom...NATHAN AND I ARE NOT PREGNANT! Our plan is to start "trying" next summer, late August or early September. That way he or she will be born at the end of next school year/start of the summer. Perfect time for Nathan to be home more and I can end the school year and not have to worry about going back.

So...I read all about prenatal vitamins and it says that they can't hurt you and many women take even if they aren't trying to conceive or are pregnant. I read one report that suggests that ALL women who have the potential to have a baby should take folic acid and other important vitamins. My thought plan is that if I need to take a vitamin anyway then I should go ahead and get used to one that I will need to be taking within the next 8 months anyway.

It felt exiting. We went shopping at Target last night for our weekly supplies so when we walked past the vitamin area I found the ones I wanted. I put them in our cart and Nathan just smiled.

We both can't wait to get pregnant. Well...once again before we all freak out...we CAN wait. And we will...but we are both excited about the prospect. I think we both thought that we would have had babies by this point in our lives. As I am pushing for 3 while Nathan persists at 2...we don't really want to wait any longer.

I think of it this way....I am 28. Next summer I get married in June and turn 29 in August....if we deliver in June of 2007 then I will only be two months away from 30!!! Let me say that again...30!!! And Nathan is 30 now...will turn 31 a couple of weeks before our wedding and would be turning 32 around the birth of said child. We have talked about the pro's and con's of getting pregnant so soon after we get married. There are those who say we should wait awhile and enjoy being married for awhile...but...Nathan and I are having our "us" time now and then that whole year between marriage and delivery. So I don't say we wait and neither does Nathan. Besides...if I end up getting my way and we have 3 and we have them 2-3 years apart...then I could be anywhere between 36 and 40 by the time the last one comes along!!! HOLY CRAP!!!

Which puts Nathan between 38 and 42!!!!

Now I know that 30 is supposed to be the new 20...but I don't know about that. I mean...my biological body says that I am 28...it doesn't consider me 18. (Thank goodness) :)

Anyway...I have rambled on and on here about this...but I am excited. I know it will still be many many months before we even begin trying but still...it is in the forseeable future which is REALLY exciting!

Oh yeah...and on a side note...8 months from today is our wedding day. It is 6:24 central time right now...so 8 months and 1 hour from today I will be in my wedding dress and be getting ready to walk down the isle!!! How exciting is that!!!!

The Memory of Middle School Students

Do you remember middle school?

Better yet...do you remember actual educational information that you were taught in middle school?

I bet you don't. I was a GT kid at a magnet school and I can only recall a few specific things that I KNOW I was taught.

And yet today in our cluster meeting (where all the teachers for a specific subject and grade get together and talk) we were once again informed that we should not be spending time on reteaching things that there were taught last year.

Those of you who know me know that at this point in the meeting I could hardly keep from LAUGHING out loud. I pointed out that students DON'T REMEMBER things from one year to the next. I don't know why they don't I seem to remember remembering things from one year to a next...but my young brain is clouded by my older more knowledgable brain.

I also pointed out that since we have to incorperate material that is WAY beyond our kids (dividing with decimals on the OUTSIDE of the box...way over a 7th grader's head) that we would naturally be behind and forced to leave out things in order to keep up with our break-neck curriculum.

Picture this...I am standing at my chalk board (who still has chalk boards in the 21 century??? I DO!!!). My students have word problems in front of them in which the must find either the force, mass, or acceleration for each problem. They have 3 formulas...one to find each thing. Each number is clearly labeled in the word problem. I ask for the MASS in a particular problem and they give me the number for force. Now let me back up for a minute. We have already gone over our lables...kg means kilograms and is the label for mass...N means newtons and is the label for force...m/sec2 means meters per second squared and is the label for acceleration. Remember each number in the word problem is CLEARLY labeled with one of those labels. So back to me standing poised at the chalk board ready to work math problems (which I just LOVE math). So...I ask for mass and I get force. So I stop everything I am doing and go back over the labels and what they mean. So we go on to the next problem...I ask for force and get the number for acceleration.

And we wonder how I still have hair!

So we had to spend 2 days working on labels and problems. Can I skip over this...OH NOOOOOOOOOO...it will be on the TAKS test and they have to be able to work the problem. Well...how do they work a problem if they don't even know what the numbers mean????

And so I am behind. I am made to feel guilty because my kids don't remember things from one year to the next. And I am asked to not reteach things they already know. But my question is...what do they know? NOTHING :)

Not reteaching what they learned last year...which are the basics in which we are supposed to be building on this year is completel insanity. It is like teaching a child their letters one week and expecting them to read a book the next. They have to learn what those letters sound like and how to put them together to make words...and then...then...maybe you can move on to sentences and books.

Guess I am on a little tirade here. :)

But when you sit in a meeting and try to explain why your scores are low and why you should add an extra week of time to learning physics (probably the hardest thing I will teach this year) and they look at you like you are crazy and they know better it just frustrates you a little. I wanted to say..."Well...if you can do it better why don't you come to see my 7th graders and try." Don't review what they should know...just teach the new stuff and see how far you get.

Insanity I tell you...INSANITY!!!!

Week Old News

Last Monday, October 3, was Fair day. This means we didn't have school! Happy Day!

So I spent the day with my mom wedding dress shopping. YEA!!!! I have my wedding dress!!! It was the third dress I tried on. It really made me feel like I REALLY REALLY am getting married in 8 months. :)

The dress was perfect and made me feel so special and beautiful. I can't wait until Nathan actually gets to see it. It is so hard not to show him pictures...I share everything with him. But there is that little part of me that HAS to stick with tradition on this part. :)

So he will just have to wait! But I know he will love it!

Wonderfully Refreshing

Finally! The summer heat has broken and we had a wonderfully refreshing day of cool weather. It isn't really the first...the first was last week but I was sick that day and couldn't go out to enjoy it. But today...that was different. The high today was only 66 or 67...how perfect! And it isn't going to be fleeting like last week but stay in the 70's for several days and only rebound to the low 80's! HAPPY DAY!!!!