Excitement and Meltdown

Actually my meltdown happened last night....and so I should probably write about it first...but it isn't as exciting or as happy as my excitement...so I will write about my excitement first.

I cannot fully describe how excited I am right now. We are making all of our final decisions and adding the finishing touches to the wedding. It is only a week and a half away...10 days tomorrow. Do you remember when you were a kid waiting for your birthday or for Christmas? Your excitement would build...you would feel giddy...maybe even have that little butterfly feeling as you climbed in bed on Christmas Eve. That is how I feel right now. The build-up is just alot bigger and I feel 100 times more excited than I ever did for a birthday or for Christmas. I cannot believe that we are so close...sometimes I feel like I am walking in a daze of last minute activities and things I want to fit in before June 17th.

Of course...with all this excitement does come the moments of stress. Most are short lived and don't really amount to anything...but last night was not one of those times. Last night I had a meltdown. I fully expected I would at some point...I hoped that I wouldn't....but I expected that I would. As I sat crying in the Taco Delight with people staring as I cried about the wedding and all my little stresses Nathan did his best to calm me down. It really is good that he is so calm when I have my high-strung moments. He finally said..."Do you remember what Jack said about the 2 weeks before the wedding?" (Jack is our pastor.) Amidst tears I cried, "Yes...he said it would suck...and that isn't fair!" (Of course our pastor didn't use the word "suck"...but at the moment that was how I could sum it up.) Nathan just laughed and said..."yep...and it will all be okay." I was able to calm down and then we went to mom's and pop's and I vented and talked and felt much better once we got home.

I did have a moment of revelation however. As we were leaving Taco Delight (a fast food mexican place that we LOVE...even better than Taco Bell in my opinion!) I commented to Nathan that I finally understood how brides sometimes get mislabled as "Bridezillas". At the end of it all when there are so many last minute details to figure out...schedules and pictures and timelines and final counts....it is easy to get stressed and snap at people. And usually you snap at stupid little things that don't matter at all and then people label the bride as overally picky and "bridezilla-ish". I don't think it is that way for most people. I am sure that there are truely bitchy brides out there that ask for unreasonable things...but I think most brides are mislabeled...they are just tired of suggestions and making decisions and just ready for their day to arrive!